sometimes I need to be reminded
how I came to this place
with these people
sometimes
when I get lonely
or when I feel a need
to relate to people
I used to be friends with
I have to read this
to remind myself
ain’t no-one looking after me
but me
and Louie. – thanks Louie once again.
well now
it’s been a long time since i’ve been in here
it’s not that I’ve been uber busy
cos I have been
but mostly at work
it’s just
and it’s not that I have nothing to say
I do
I’m nothing if not an over sharer
it’s just plain
unadulterated
laziness
however
it is my plan
to turn over a new leaf
right as soon
as I return from holidays
mid Aug
in the meantime
I’m good
the dog is good
(although a thunderstorm did cause
her to wake me
at 4:44AM
fairly significant
cos I think it’s the 3rd one
in the 15 years I’ve lived here)
the job rocks
although there are moments
when I’m convinced I’m back in grade school
the Pickle is home
but I’m not taking her on holidays
cos she tried to kill the mechanic?
well maybe
but mostly cos I’m flying to and from
Wisconsin for my holidays
the biggest question
in my life
at the moment
is should I take Pixie with
or leave her
with someone
who’ll only end up telling me
I should do this
or that
in training her
cos frankly
she don’t come when she’s called
nor does she stay in
if the door’s open
and while I recognize that
the 80 yr old parents might not
and who the hell has enough money
to board her for 2 weeks
would be about 650.00
so…there’s a decision for ya eh?
anyway
when I come back from holidays
I may well finish unpacking my house
I remember the day you told me about this *friend*.
I remember your tears and your shock.
I remember you asking me to take the high road.
I remember on your insistance on giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I remember what happened in the days that followed.
I remember her subsequent lies and backtracking.
I remember your so called friends TELLING you to forgive her.(easily said when nothing was done to them)
I remember her isolating some friends and treating you like shit.
I remember how it all got turned around and you were blamed for this thing that she did to you and your family.
I remember the phone calls and e-mails and hugs we shared over this,
I remember you going camping with all these friends to try to heal the schism.
I remember you blaming yourself.
I remember her blog about all of us.
I remember that’s when I dropped her over your protests.
I remember said friends gradually cutting you out of their lives in favor of her.
I remember your hurt over this and your insistance that nobody e-mail her to tell her off because she really didn’t mean any harm.
I remember respecting your wishes and getting on with things.
I remember when you were finally able to let it go.
I remember the last couple years being gobsmacked by your strength of character and your ability to move on.
I remember your phone call the other night.
I remember Karen, I’ll never forget.
You are loved.
You are strong.
You are decent.
You are good and I’ll smack the first person I see in the head who says otherwise.
Rachael Lee was damn lucky you had the strength and the courage to give her a life with a family who loved and cared for her. Nobody can take away from you what a loving and sacrificial act that was.
Maybe she didn’t mean it, maybe she was sorry, it’s the events after the fact that are so stunning. That was intentional and no one can convince me otherwise.
LYLT5$