there’s joy to be found

in the web we weave…

I was lucky enough
to spend some time
in the company of family members
yesterday

turns out it was quite good for me
not only having their support
verbally, physically and spiritually
but having 2 children there
brought me out of feeling secluded
and back into day to day

less me
more they…

and my house now smells
of lilacs
a gift
from my cousin’s wife
who staunchly remains
in my corner

this is good for the weave

Some have asked
why my life
has been so hard?
why seemingly there have been more
hardships than most?

I’ve been known
to ask the same question…
but in my heart
this is what I believe…

I don’t share these beliefs often
but because there have been
specific questions I will….
for those of you that have asked
what I believe
about the concept of life and death

I believe we each arrive in this web
with a certain amount of tasks to accomplish
and lessons to learn

some tasks are in service to others
some tasks are lessons in the weave
some tasks are harder than others
and
most tasks are not related

each of us
weaves our  own web
turn in
turn out

the longer we weave
the more often we’ve
been weavers
i.e.
the harder the lesson
or the task
the longer our “spirit”
has been in the loop
hence the concept
of “old souls”

each of us
finishes our tasks
at our own pace

when our tasks are done
we can move on
to the next web

so for instance
if one of my tasks
was to become a wisdome
(strength/honour/wisdom)
and I didn’t
until I was very old
I’d be here longer
than someone who’s only task
was to make you smile.

it’s harsh
and it’s gentle
and in it can be found
all the answers one needs
if they simply look

my lessons are not yet learned
yet with each lesson
I grow closer
to my next weave

when my tasks
and lessons
are learned
I too
would move on
to the next weave
on the web
each one taking longer
than the last…

all this
helps me to deal with
the very length, breath and harshness
of the lessons
in my weave
this time around

had I not been in the weave
as often as I have
my lessons would be simpler
and quicker
my time here shorter
and I’d move along
with less tears

however
with less tears
comes less capacity
for joy
and I find
that at this moment in time
my joy is close to overwhelming

the support I have received
from all of you
has finally gotten me over the hump
of my previous lessons
and moved me to this task
the task of understanding
and loving wholeheartedly
someone
I’ve never actually met.

I thank you all
for bringing me the joy
and support I’ve felt
over the last 3 days

If there can be something
good to come of this
most recent lesson
in my weave
it has to be
a need/urge
to write again
it’s been missing in my life
for a few months
and as I’ve said before
if I don’t write
my foufou valve will blow
LoL

so
maybe I’m back
and if you enjoy the read
you can thank
Rachael Lee.

with love