I’ve just had this convo with a friend who’s been diagnosed with MS and as I write I’m surprised to find it true!
This is a conversation that I have had with many fellow “compromise auto-immune” friends and acquaintances over the last couple of years.
You have to make peace with your disease…you personally – not your kids, not your husband…not the people you deal with on a regular basis.
I hear people say all the time that I shouldn’t let my diseases define me. But they do – physically. It’s my diseases that stop me from crawling on my knees, lifting anything heavy or running. It’s my diseases that govern what I eat, when I eat and how I eat or how I use the facilities, when I do and frequency. Just as it is my diseases that decide just how much rest I need.
The only way for me to “let it go” was to make peace with it. To not get angry with it anymore (no small feat for a berserker like me) to recognize the signs when my body was saying “slow down” or “eat more of this” or “don’t eat that crap no more”.
So…I pay attention to what my body needs/wants and make allowances for when I can’t do what I want. I’m patient. I’ve worked at the concept that not being able bodied does not mean I’m lazy, or stupid or less than. If I’m traveling – I travel for a day and take a day off. I arrange that with friends if I’m travelling with them. If I need to go to bed before everyone else does…I do. If I need to spend a day lying around doing nothing more strenuous than holding my kobo…I do.
And best of all…I make no apologies. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose…but mostly I’m working at being kind to myself for a change. It’s all part of the wonderfulness of me…right?
