WyzWmn's World©

I sent this to Louie in an email this morning
and thought I’d post it here too…

I’ll betcha money
that people weren’t just being malicious last year…

I think they just don’t think.

no?

I’m thinking
that my days of believing
that people will do
the right thing
are gone…

I have this understanding
that I’m gonna have to
take people by the hand
and show them wtf I want
going forward.

last night
I got in the car at 12:30
and came back to Digger’s
just me and Pixie..

the night was gorgeous…
crisp and clear – frosty
…looking at all the stars was just so wonderful…

there I was in complete silence
just me and the earth and the stars…

I had a couple of moments
of real thankfulness
and clarity
around making it thru 2010
with whats left of my sanity…
and the start of 2011…

then my ears decided
that they might fall off
from the cold
so I went into the trailer
and climbed between the sheets…
slept till 8:00AM!

I don’t know why…
but I’m quite hopeful at the moment

2010 ended well for me
and 2011 feels
like there may be something nice in store

course…
I’ve been wrong before eh?
LoL
and I’m here by myself at the moment…
so really?

…what’s to fuck up LoL

2010 included a couple of huge
learning curves for me

today being the 30th
I’m a little reflective…

and a lot bored
course that’s ok
cos I’ve been off since the 17th
so it took 13 days for me to run outta steam

I’m still at my father’s
have spent a fair amount of time
just sitting on my butt readin
the 11 library books I brought with

the 13 days have not been without
family anxiety
but judging from what I see around me
family anxiety
is part of the package

I’ve posted some reflective questions
on FB
and got some interesting answers
and found that there are
just as many people
looking forward to the end of 2010
as there are looking forward to
the beginning of 2011

I’m feeling pretty good just now
I’m relaxed enough
that I literally haven’t
thought about work
until the middle of the night
last night that is
when I was laying in bed
wondering wth?
was up with the furnace in the trailer
I began to think about what next week will bring
in terms of work to do

I find I’m looking forward to 2011
and whatever positive changes
come my way

there’s a possibility
of me being patched
into a club
that I hold near and dear to my heart
just as there’s a possibility of
getting back on the road on the Pickle
maybe the Dr will release my peepers
for riding?

seeing old friends
making new ones

understanding
that I can only effect change on myself
and that I have stopped lowering my standards
out of misplaced generosity of spirit

as my friend Louie so aptly put it:
“I learned to let people go
and to spend my leisure time
with people who are deserving of it”

and as my wise friend DD says:
“friends are people WE pick…
they all enter our lives for a purpose
and length of time,
some short and some long.
No matter what reason they are
there they are a gift to teach you something.
Some are just to teach you
that you ARE all that and apple pie
and can make positive choices
and sometimes that means loving,
blessing them and walking around them.
To do this most often
means putting our big girl panties
on and feeling the fear and doing it anyways.”

both very wise women
and both ladies who’s wise counsel
I will take with me
as I move into 2011

Happy New Years Everyone!