I can’t stop thinkin
about Peter
how does one
continue to live their lives
after loosing
their soulmate?
wtf is fair about that?
I ask myself
over and over…
what’s fair about
going for so many years
of your life
not feeling whole
and just when you get shit
worked out
it’s taken away from you
in some weird kind of
karmic/kosmic slam?
you all know
that I believe
in the weave
and it’s defining
the length of time
and conditions
in which we live…
I have to wonder though
when the weave
looks so blatantly unfair…
and then
there’s this huge
disappointment in my life
in not being able to
join my brothers and sisters wise
in Colorado
not only
to miss the Gathering
of the Tribe
but for patching/vesting too…
I was sooo looking forward
to fully belonging
so I wait longer
it’s not hard
it’s just
disappointing
on a rather large
sad scale
and the culmination
of a bunch of
kosmic slaps
so far this year
first the illness
then the job loss
then more illness
then my aunt’s death
then rachel’s death
my friend’s death
and now Colorado
wtf is fair
about any of that?
oh
I know
that I should
thank my lucky stars
that I found a good job
in such a timely manner…
and don’t get me wrong
I am eternally grateful
to be able to support
my never ending habit
of medical needs LoL
but shysta!
I’d been planing this trip
for a frelling year!
and coulda really
used a real
tribe “hug”
at the moment…
*sigh*
I know I talk continually
about being a work in progress
and I acknowledge it
every single day of my adult life
seriously though?
the fact that my job
was lost
in the manner it was
will forever
be a disappointment to me
I’ve forgiven the perpetrator
cos that’s what
I needed to do for me
again with the seriously…
tout kindness compassion and love
and then screw over someone
you profess to care about
KaLassie!
so the disappointment
I’m feeling
has caused me to ponder
the evolution
of the themes
in my life
I do!
I see these same themes
in my life
all the time
they continue
to remind me
of the path I travel
I remain in search
of
Wisdom
Strength
and
Honour
