just when I figure I might be getting back to normal (whatever the hell that is) I go to the Crohn’s specialist thinking that there’s nothing wrong
not so much
I’m now on a cancer drug as an immunosuppresent
and I have to have blood work once a week for 4 weeks
then twice weekly for 2 weeks
then monthly likely for the rest of my life
and the drug may or may not cause acute pancreatitis and/or liver damage (drug induced hepatitis)and/or spongy tumors (cancer)
I told her I feel better Crohn’s wise than I have in 30 years
she says “but you are not…and I want to start on an anti depression drug because this is what stress has done to you”
which is when I told her about the cipralex I’m already on as I’d forgotten to mention it and that would have been the drug that she prescribed
I could just cry…I’m tired of being stoic…just accepting everything as my lot and moving on…
so
my Crohns is now not just in the lower bowel on the left side
it’s all the way through my small intestine too…and fully engaged – my bowel has started to thicken and constrict which means that it is very likely only a matter of time before I’ll have to have a chunk cut out…
she also talked about CPP medical pensions for depression – and I said that I’d rather work so I can feel like I’m contributing to which she said good…but you can’t be governed by stress anymore – so if your next job is as stressful as the last…you are outta there!
and she wants me to go back to not eating so many fruits and veg…no oranges, grapefruit, lemons or limes, apples, seeds, nuts, bean sprouts, tomatoes, celery, cucumbers, corn, white bread, wild rice, peppers, pickles, relished, popcorn, jams, marmalade, nothing processed….
and just wtf will happen if I don’t have a new job by Aug? a new job with benefits?
Shoot me now….cos there’s no stress in that eh?
