knickers in a knot

I’ve spent a lot of time
over the last little while
jokin with my friends
about how my inside voice is broken

and how I have lost patience with stupidity
for stupidity’s sake

about how I can not abide
people who operate without empathy

and about how I know mean when I see it
cos I used to live it…

one of my blogging friends
who has a pretty active blog
that rarely has less than a dozen
comments per post
cos she’s bright and witty and funny and erudite
is having a real tough time just now

she’s suffering from depression
and she’s made some giant steps
to get help (first giant step is admission)
and to help herself
but she’s just started down the path
so she’s still having a tough time
taking baby steps
where giant steps could be used

yesterday
she posts a rather long blog
about the personal horror’s of her disease
about how undermining it is
to her psyche
about how she feels unlovable
about how non supportive she perceives her partner to be just now
about how she feels that
friends and family figure
that cos she’s started medication
everything should be status quo
and really slammin her cos she quit the job
that brought her to the peak of her disease

then some fucktard (as the very first comment)
posts a long rambling comment
about how she should step up to the plate
and “bite the bullet”
and work to support her man and family
blah blah blah

instead of being loving
and empathetic
and supportive

guess what happened?
I lost my temper

and posted a comment
the 2nd comment related to that post
that ran something like this:
“ok first off…people that pass judgment
from lofty heights
without identifying themselves
are gutless and passive aggressive
and should fuck off and shut up
– but fuck off first!
*dammit*”

yup
that’s right
I lost my cool and told some anonymous fucktard
just where the bear
shit in the woods

old habits die hard eh?

I don’t regret having said what I said
to the gutless wonder
that posted that meanness in her comments
but I do regret bringing her blog comments to a screeching halt
in one major move

it bothers me
when people are not ethical
it bothers me
when they don’t operate from a position of integrity
and in my books anonymous slams
are not integral

so
old habits die hard
and my knickers were in a knot
just long enough
to flap the yap
and as usual
for me it’s now gone

everyone has to come thru
this disease
in their own way and time
and nobody should get to
compound the ailment
with anonymous venom

it just ain’t right.