Happy New Years…

I have been sitting here
for hours
playing
online solitaire
and
trying to come to terms
with the fact
that my sister
is
and remains
an undying,
dyed in the wool
bitch. (period – end of sentence)

what the fuck ever possessed me
to think
that this time would be different?
what would make me think
that this time
it would be ok?

jezuz

and she’s only been here 24 hours
by the time her 2 week visit ends
I should be god damn near
committable

she remains ever reliant
upon the fact that this family
will avoid conflict at all costs

maybe this time we won’t
maybe this time I will couch it in the verbiage
of “conflict resolution”

“it really bothers me when you are mean and dismissive”
“it really bothers me when you are derisive and rude”

“it would hurt my feelings substantially less if you would treat me with the common garden variety courtesy that you treat strangers”

“when you treat me this way it makes me sad, it breaks my heart to have a better relationship with people I ride with than my own sister and I feel that I will no longer allow you that kind of power in my life. If this means I must cut you out of it, that will be your decision”

yah
well
not likely
I’m more likely to say
“yer a bitch – shaddup and fuck off”

but the thought’s there.