re-watching Glee
\nweeping like a baby<\/p>\n
nothing like
\nsome voices raised\u00a0
\nand teenage angst
\nto make me emotional<\/p>\n
I’ve realized something though…
\nI’ve not really reacted emotionally
\nto much of anything
\nsince I started on antidepressants
\nyears ago…<\/p>\n
Not for years
\noh – i’m still mouthy
\nbut the feelings
\nare no longer there<\/p>\n
I don’t think I even cried
\nwhen my dad died
\nor
\nmy mom had to go to a home<\/p>\n
So
\nThe question becomes<\/p>\n
is dealing with
\nthe physical and emotional
\nanxiety symptoms
\nand the black hole
\ncalled depression
\nwithout going back on the meds
\nworth it?<\/p>\n
or<\/p>\n
is experiencing the emotional highs
\nthe joy
\nthe laughter\u00a0
\nand the returning\u00a0
\nability to write
\nthe ability to feel emotion
\nworth the cost?<\/p>\n
what if I were to lose
\nmy temper
\nlike in the “old days”<\/p>\n
what if I hurt myself
\nor even worse
\nsomeone else<\/p>\n
is the ability
\nto find joy
\nor write
\nworth
\nlosing control?<\/p>\n
Why is controling myself
\nso important
\nwhy is there such a need
\nfor me to be
\nappearing “normal”<\/p>\n
was who I used to be
\nreally so bad?<\/p>\n
is it worth it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
re-watching Glee weeping like a baby nothing like some voices raised\u00a0 and teenage angst to make me emotional I’ve realized something though… I’ve not really reacted emotionally to much of anything since I started on antidepressants years ago… Not for … Continue reading