Daily Affirmation:
\nI choose this path.
\nMy path is filled with promise.<\/p>\n
a FB friend had this on his status today
\nI think that each day I wake feeling like it’s new
\nbut somewhere along the line
\nover the course of the day
\nI get “the rude awakening”<\/p>\n
I’m working overtime at being positive
\nbut sometimes ya really gotta just
\n“let it go”
\ncurrently the fadder’s favorite saying
\nand his ability to “let it go”
\nby saying the words
\nout loud
\nis driving all of us
\nbonkers LoL<\/p>\n
another friend’s FB status said:
\n“I am an oasis of truth
\nin a modern desert of political correctness
\nthat accepts mediocrity,
\nwhere everyone is a winner
\nand no one has to TRY
\nto be declared spectacular.
\nDo not ask me questions
\nyou do not want the answer to.
\nI will not conform
\nand tell you
\nwhat you want to hear.
\nI will not drink
\nyour Kool-aid
\nand tell you that
\nit’s OK to give up
\nbecause
\n“at least you tried”.”<\/p>\n
now what kind of dichotomy
\ndo I find myself in
\nwhere both of these status’
\nprofoundly affect me
\nthis morning?<\/p>\n
must be the return to coffee
\nYay!<\/p>\n
I’m off
\nto another Dr’s apt
\nthis morning
\nI wonder what stellar observations
\nand profound facts
\nthis one will have for me?<\/p>\n
a friend suggested yesterday:
\nwhy go back to eating
\nthe way you did before?
\nit’s not like not eating
\nanything you enjoy
\nhas made your disease
\nstop in it’s tracks?”<\/p>\n
I think that it might have
\nmade me one of the lucky one’s
\nmaybe eating that way is the reason
\nthat I’ve had this disease for 30 years
\nand been in remission for about 10
\nand mostly been able to deal with it
\nwithout too much bother…
\nand am just now starting
\nto have the kind of trouble
\nothers that have the disease
\nhave reported to me<\/p>\n
but have I really been in remission?
\nhow is it that I’ve enslaved myself
\nto the prospect of “medical benefits”
\nallowed my self to be mistreated
\nand abused for same
\nand religiously taken
\nconservatively speaking
\n“a bajillion” pills
\nevery day
\nwatched my hair fall out
\nwatched myself gain
\nover 100lbs
\nate only what I was supposed to
\nand still
\nended
\nup
\nhere?<\/p>\n
WTF?<\/p>\n
course there’s also the suggestion
\nthat the gut disease and diabetes
\nare exacerbating each other….
\nwho knows?<\/p>\n
the VOD also suggests
\nthat it’s no longer
\nridiculous to consider
\nthat my having had
\nabdominal surgery
\nat 21 days of age
\n(for the first time)
\nall those years ago
\n(almost 56 yrs ago)
\ncould have any bearing
\non an abdominal disease
\nthat for all intents
\nand purposes
\nacts like
\nmy guts are rotting
\nfrom the inside out
\nand I’m back to eating
\n(like) tapioca
\nbut sugarless tapioca LoL<\/p>\n
(side rant:
\ncan I just say?
\nI’m sick to death of people
\nsuggesting that I’d loose weight
\nif I just ate more veggies
\nor legumes
\nor less fat?
\nfuck off!
\ndo you think I don’t know that?
\nyou go suggest it to the gut Dr then!
\nend rant)<\/p>\n
I’ve had to make some hard decisions
\nI’ve cancelled my holidays
\nbecause of the job search
\nand it’s deadline
\nthe added stress of blood work
\nseveral times a week
\nand overall malaise
\nI just can’t justify it
\nno matter how desperately
\nI want to go and sit
\naround a fire
\nwith my friends
\nI just can’t go<\/p>\n
so
\nwith all the shit currently on my plate
\nI can’t even get excited about
\nthe race to the Stanley Cup
\nlike every other person I know
\nseriously…
\nI.don’t.care.right.now
\nsome rabid Canadian
\nI turned out to be eh?<\/p>\n
I keep trying to remind myself
\nthat it’s all cos of the full moon
\non the 15th
\nbut mostly I’m in a feast or famine stage
\nI do nothing
\nor I do so much I hurt myself.
\nno in between for me dammit.<\/p>\n
I remain
\nmy very own
\n“live and in person”
\nconundrum<\/p>\n
heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeee’s Wyz!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Daily Affirmation: I choose this path. My path is filled with promise. a FB friend had this on his status today I think that each day I wake feeling like it’s new but somewhere along the line over the course … Continue reading