{"id":699,"date":"2008-09-06T06:56:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-06T06:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=699"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:27:00","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:27:00","slug":"chapter-79","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=699","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 79"},"content":{"rendered":"

the sound: <\/span>Jefferson Airplane \u2013 White Rabbit<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Stevie Ray Vaughn \u2013 Little Wing<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Metallica \u2013 Nothing Else Matters<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Willam S. Burroughs once said that \u201cIn the end junkies have no interest in sex, and they have no interest in other people except as suppliers of their junk.\u201d Michael had always said \u201cthere\u2019s no such thing as an ex-junkie.\u201d<\/p>\n

I now I believed him.<\/p>\n

Robert held out his arm and I wrapped the belt around it, he took it from me to pull it tight…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201dtop or bottom\u201d I asked? Eyeing his veins with a once practiced ease…I wasn\u2019t particular…I\u2019d use his arm or his hand\u2026his veins, his choice.<\/p>\n

Robert nodded towards the veins in his arm and I nodded back cos they stood out like snake attachments to his forearm.<\/p>\n

I removed the small peice of cigarette filter I was using as a filter from the point and carefully set the point back into the bowl of the spoon to suck the liquid up into the syringe. I was surprised at how little my hands shook until I up ended the syringe looking for bubbles before flagging out the air.<\/p>\n

I looked at the syringe and sighed, licking the sweat off my upper lip, My hand began to tremble severly and as I watched the tremor moved up my arm.<\/p>\n

I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to breath deeply while I held myself and twitched\u2026twitched hard, just like I had when I went through all that hell it took to get clean, I twitched and itched.<\/p>\n

Robert grabbed the syringe out of my hand his arm almost knocking me off of the bed in his hurry.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell is wrong with you?\u201d he yelled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a junkie\u201d I whispered my head turned away from him, my hair falling forward to hide my face.<\/p>\n

\u201cwhat?…what the fuck\u2026you\u2019re what?\u201d he barked \u201cspeak up\u2026.what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a fucking junkie\u201d I yelled back, suddenly angry.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been clean, but only for a couple of years asshole\u2026I\u2019m a junkie\u2026you know? Once a junkie always a junkie you fucking prick!\u201d I was suddenly standing beside the bed wagging my finger at him and crying.<\/p>\n

\u201chold up\u2026hold up\u2026\u201d he said\u2026\u201dhow come nobody told me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cpffffffffft..yer not so fucking important in my life big guy…\u201d I said as I eyed up the syringe and realized that in my mind I was already plotting to get the damn thing away from him\u2026<\/p>\n

Robert looked from me to the syringe in his hand, back to me and then followed my eyes boring holes in his hand. \u201cMaybe you shouldn\u2019t do this?\u201d he suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa fucking think?\u201d I whispered hungrily watching him move the syringe from the hand closest to me to the one with the belt on on the other side of the bed.<\/p>\n

I sat down on the side of the bed again and looked him square in the eye. I could see that the dilaudid was working, but I could also see the pain in the crinkling around his eyes.<\/p>\n

Thoughts flitted through my mind\u2026.\u201cHe can\u2019t move very quickly\u2026<\/p>\n

no\u2026.<\/p>\n

I could grab n dash\u2026.<\/p>\n

no\u2026.<\/p>\n

he\u2019d never catch up\u2026<\/p>\n

no no no NO!\u201d<\/p>\n

Just as the compulsion to grab the syringe almost overcame me we heard a sound in the hallway outside the bedroom door.<\/p>\n

Robert looked about frantically and made a grab for the kit on the bedside table \u2013 the belt on his arm waving pointedly and more than showing what he was up to\u2026he missed.<\/p>\n

I grabbed the works at the same time as he threw the syringe through the open door of the closet I heard it hit the far wall and licked my lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cLater\u201d he said, as he pulled the belt off his arm and I hid the works\u2026sliding them down the back of my pants.<\/p>\n

No sooner did Robert relax back against the pillows again did the door open and Mrs. K and Rosie waltzed in, two huge bags of take out food in tow.<\/p>\n

\u201cSaved by the redheads\u201d I thought, as Mrs. K slipped into my place at Robert\u2019s bedside and Rosie and I headed to the kitchen to plate up the meal.<\/p>\n

Going through the mundane steps of standing at the kitchen counter putting Chinese food on plates allowed me to get my residual tremors under control and I honestly thought that we\u2019d pulled it off until Rosie reach around me and pulled Robert\u2019s kit out of the back of my pants.<\/p>\n

She turned to me with a question in her eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cSaved by the redheads\u201d I said sheepishly.<\/p>\n

Rosie shook her head and threw the kit in the garbage.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

the sound: Jefferson Airplane \u2013 White Rabbit, Stevie Ray Vaughn \u2013 Little Wing, Metallica \u2013 Nothing Else Matters Willam S. Burroughs once said that \u201cIn the end junkies have no interest in sex, and they have no interest in other … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4506,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions\/4506"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}