{"id":3936,"date":"2010-09-07T10:51:00","date_gmt":"2010-09-07T17:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=3936"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:24:36","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:24:36","slug":"knee-jerk-reacctions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=3936","title":{"rendered":"Knee jerk reacctions…."},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2026abound <\/span>
or \u201cthe perils of communicating online\u201d<\/span>
(this is likely the blogpost you\u2019ve all been waiting for ;0) <\/span><\/p>\n

last week on Tues I had an in-depth discussion <\/span>
on facebook with two friends<\/span>
one of whom I considered one of my closest friends<\/span>
the other a friend whom I\u2019d had a falling out with a year ago<\/span>
the convo was about a subject <\/span>
very near and dear to me<\/span>
rape\u2026<\/span>
and our need to make fun <\/span>
of the things <\/span>
that make us uncomfortable<\/span>
so it was an impassioned conversation<\/span>
at the end of which I went to bed <\/span>
thinking that the 2nd friend and I <\/span>
had experienced a breakthrough<\/span>
and that I\u2019d really been heard<\/span>
and really that all was well<\/span><\/p>\n

I woke up on Wed thinking <\/span>
what a great thing it was<\/span>
to be able to have a conversation <\/span>
with friends <\/span>
and to agree to disagree <\/span>
and not have it affect the friendships<\/span>
to feel safe and to be able to trust them <\/span><\/p>\n

I went back to re-read the response of the wife <\/span>
of one of the friends <\/span>
whom I also considered one of my closest friends<\/span>
to find a message<\/span>
from someone whom I\u2019ve possibly met 3 times <\/span><\/p>\n

it offended me right out of the gate\u2026<\/span>
he even said in the post \u201cat the risk of offending\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

coming out of the warm fuzzy\u2019s <\/span>
to someone making fun of my heart-felt stance<\/span>
was like a slap in the face<\/span>
and considering this person <\/span>
was mostly a friend of a friend <\/span>
(and likely a good guy<\/span>
but not my personal friend) <\/span>
I experienced a knee jerk reaction<\/span><\/p>\n

for the 2nd time <\/span>
in all the time I\u2019ve been on FB <\/span>
I deleted a \u201cfriend\u201d<\/span>
and I wrote the blazing blog found here<\/a>\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

the blog \u2013 in my mind <\/span>
was directed at the some 700+ <\/span>
friends of friends <\/span>
that I have on FB<\/span><\/p>\n

I naturally assumed <\/span>
that my personal friends <\/span>
would understand my response<\/span>
because they love me<\/span>
right?<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d also felt hurt by the response <\/span>
from the wife of one of the friends<\/span>
I\u2019d had the discussion with<\/span>
thinking that as one of my closest friends<\/span>
I would be able to tell her that I\u2019d felt hurt<\/span>
so I sent her an email <\/span>
asking for understanding of what she\u2019d said<\/span>
and why<\/span><\/p>\n

I went to work<\/span>
I was busy<\/span>
but got a chance <\/span>
to have cursory looks <\/span>
at FB <\/span>
a couple of times over the morning<\/span>
nothing significant<\/span><\/p>\n

so you\u2019ll imagine my shock & surprise & hurt<\/span>
when I got home at the end of the day <\/span>
to find that the closest friend <\/span>
had blocked me completely<\/span><\/p>\n

and the friend whom I\u2019d felt <\/span>
I\u2019d had a breakthrough with <\/span>
had deleted me<\/span>
then I found out that they\u2019d not only deleted me<\/span>
but that they\u2019d deleted another female friend<\/span>
that had been part of that impassioned convo<\/span>
on Tues night\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

knee jerk reaction again<\/span>
I sent off an email suggesting they felt guilty<\/span>
if they felt the blog post<\/span>
was about them<\/span><\/p>\n

both of them told me in no uncertain terms<\/span>
that they \u201cknew it was\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

since then I\u2019ve said repeatedly<\/span>
that it\u2019s not<\/span>
but I can\u2019t force them to believe me<\/span><\/p>\n

one of the friends<\/span>
in a response to my guilt email<\/span>
suggested a couple of things<\/span>
1. that I stop blogging<\/span>
2. that I should have known they\u2019d figure it was about them and that I should have told them right outta the gate that it wasn\u2019t<\/span>
3. that their deleting me had nothing to do with the convo on Tuesday but was more about my blog post<\/span>
4. and that my threatening them was the cause of them dropping me<\/span><\/p>\n

so I asked<\/span>
if you were mad at me <\/span>
why did you delete\/block her?<\/span><\/p>\n

a week\u2019s gone by<\/span>
the friend that originally blocked me <\/span>
has unblocked me but is still not FB friends with me<\/span>
there has been no communication<\/span>
he likely feels that the ball is in my court<\/span>
but what do you say to \u201cI don\u2019t want to be your friend?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

the friend I\u2019d thought I\u2019d had a breakthrough with<\/span>
has now blocked me<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard nothing from the wives of either of them<\/span>
save their posts on their own FB<\/span>
which in my own knee jerk manner<\/span>
leads me to believe that I\u2019m on their hit lists too<\/span><\/p>\n

my friend who got blocked because of me<\/span>
has been hurt by this<\/span>
through no fault of her own<\/span>
I\u2019ve apologized through the teeth<\/span>
but in the end<\/span>
can not change what\u2019s happened<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m no longer hurt<\/span>
I\u2019m no longer sad<\/span>
I feel bad that there was a misunderstanding of this caliber<\/span>
and that my 3rd friend got caught in the cross fire<\/span>
but
I’m resigned….<\/p>\n

<\/span>I\u2019m just kinda resolved\u2026<\/span>
to not worry about it<\/span>
cos I can\u2019t effect change on them<\/span>
obviously they consider me a pariah<\/span>
and can only conclude that <\/span>
they would rather talk to others (or each other)about me<\/span>
than talk to me <\/span>
to attempt to resolve the issue<\/span><\/p>\n

I know why I wrote the post <\/span>
that they were offended by<\/span>
I feel like had they truly been my friends <\/span>
they would not have reacted<\/span>
in a knee jerk manner <\/span>
and deleted me<\/span>
they\u2019d have asked<\/span>
like I asked the wife of one of them<\/span>
and when I told them what was up <\/span>
(and seriously I know you guys are talking<\/span>
so what I sent to one is common knowledge now)<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry they took it the wrong way<\/span>
but I ain\u2019t gonna beg<\/span>
they\u2019ve made their knee-jerk decisions<\/span>
albeit on erroneous information<\/span>
and I am being vilified <\/span>
by them as a result<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m reminded of a quote the VOD\u2019s mom used to utter<\/span>
\u201cdon\u2019t stir the hornet\u2019s nest<\/span>
if ya don\u2019t wanna get stung\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I guess I inadvertently<\/span>
stirred the hornet\u2019s nest<\/span>
and I can\u2019t go back and un-stir it.
although this blog post may stir it more
I’m not stopping the bloggin
and telling my truth
<\/span>
and at this stage<\/span>
I have really begun to wonder <\/span>
if they weren\u2019t just looking for an excuse.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026abound or \u201cthe perils of communicating online\u201d(this is likely the blogpost you\u2019ve all been waiting for ;0) last week on Tues I had an in-depth discussion on facebook with two friendsone of whom I considered one of my closest friendsthe … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3936"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3949,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3936\/revisions\/3949"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}