{"id":1911,"date":"2010-02-02T19:03:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-03T03:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1911"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:24:48","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:24:48","slug":"the-bladder-scope-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1911","title":{"rendered":"The Bladder Scope…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I spent Friday in hospital <\/span>
having a bladder scan<\/span><\/p>\n

first <\/span>
they take yer glasses away from you <\/span>
so ya can’t see squat <\/span>
and feel kinda puky<\/span><\/p>\n

then they gauze and tape <\/span>
yer earrings <\/span>
so that nothing happens to them <\/span>
while yer under <\/span>
(and that’s real purdy)<\/span><\/p>\n

then they put this <\/span>
really itchy <\/span>
party hat on ya <\/span>
(and purdy ain’t a word <\/span>
to describe it let me tell you….)<\/span><\/p>\n

then some one grabs ya <\/span>
by the ankles <\/span>
and yards ya down the table <\/span>
(no small feat for anyone <\/span>
considering my size) <\/span>
and straps ya <\/span>
in the stirrups <\/span>
from the knees down..<\/span>
.just in case ya might wanna <\/span>
frickin escape <\/span>
I guess…<\/span><\/p>\n

a position, <\/span>
I might add <\/span>
that I thought <\/span>
that at almost <\/span>
55 yrs of age <\/span>
I’d not be coming up against<\/span>
again – anytime soon<\/span><\/p>\n

boy was I wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

then one cowboy <\/span>
ties a tourniquet <\/span>
around my right arm <\/span>
whilst another <\/span>
is givin me a freakin skin pop <\/span>
in my left arm <\/span>
(….in my day <\/span>
we punched people in the head <\/span>
for bubblin yer arm like that!)<\/span><\/p>\n

and right <\/span>
in the middle <\/span>
of all this <\/span>
some nurse <\/span>
starts to scrub <\/span>
my who ha <\/span>
with what felt like <\/span>
a wire brush! <\/span><\/p>\n

Without<\/span>
so much as <\/span>
a “by your leave” <\/span>
er nuttin!<\/span><\/p>\n

then <\/span>
the drugs took over <\/span>
and I don’t remember anything <\/span>
till I woke up in the recovery room <\/span>
where the OR nurse <\/span>
came to tell me <\/span>
that in all the many years <\/span>
she’s been an OR nurse <\/span>
she’d never talked to anyone<\/span>
anywhere near <\/span>
as funny as I am <\/span>
whist under the influence <\/span>
of anesthetic…<\/span><\/p>\n

all this <\/span>
so they could tell me<\/span>
that there really is <\/span>
nuttin <\/span>
wrong with my bladder<\/span><\/p>\n

*sigh*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I spent Friday in hospital having a bladder scan first they take yer glasses away from you so ya can’t see squat and feel kinda puky then they gauze and tape yer earrings so that nothing happens to them while … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1911"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1911\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4057,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1911\/revisions\/4057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}