{"id":1894,"date":"2009-12-05T16:23:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-06T00:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1894"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:24:49","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:24:49","slug":"people-just-dont-get-it-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1894","title":{"rendered":"people just don’t get it"},"content":{"rendered":"

the whole
what it’s like
to live with a debilitating disease
(er two er three) thing that is<\/p>\n

take the fadder (please?)<\/p>\n

he’s in town for the weekend
stayin at the cuz’s place<\/p>\n

we meet for breaky
and we have a talk about my health
whereby I tell him all about
how I feel like I’m finally coming out
of the end of a dark tunnel
and I recognize that
it took years to get here
so it’s baby steps
going forward
but I’m determined
to find a way
to make these diseases
live together
and play nice
and that’s why I’m spending
so much time with the Dr’s
cos they have answers I don’t have<\/p>\n

I also say
that I recognize
that it ain’t gonna be pretty
and it’s gonna take a long time
but I’m determined<\/p>\n

his response
is to tell me this story
about his latest chicklette<\/p>\n

who’s a spry 67 yrs old
had a stroke
was in a scooter
etc etc
decided that she loved boxing
lived close to a gym
developed a relationship with a
personal trainer
and now she’s running marathons<\/p>\n

I find it exasperating but still
I say “see…that just proves to me
that I will be able to find a way to
get thru this”<\/p>\n

his response is…”just get some exercise”
*insert dumbfounded expression here*<\/p>\n

I try yet again
to explain the problem with my legs<\/p>\n

and he doesn’t get it<\/p>\n

yet he’s actually had surgery
on one of his Achilles tendons
for exactly the same problem I have
and was in a brace for a year before the
surgery<\/p>\n

but he don’t get it<\/p>\n

so I go and pick up the VOD at noon
we go to the grocery store
and the pharmacy
and are back at her house by 2pm<\/p>\n

and my left heel is so sore
I would rather cut off a breast
than put any weight on it<\/p>\n

every step feels like
someone is cutting my
Achilles tendon<\/p>\n

and I’m realistic enough
to recognize
that it’s like
exacerbated
by my weight
(I am not an idiot ya know)<\/p>\n

I get home by 3
and it hurts so bad
all I can think of is gettin
off of it
and maybe pukin<\/p>\n

and he doesn’t understand
why I’m not exercising?<\/p>\n

3 hrs on my feet
and I’d rather live
in the crazy cat lady’s house
than do laundry
or wash the kitchen floor<\/p>\n

people think I’m lazy
and that’s why I’m fat<\/p>\n

but I’m not<\/p>\n

I’d way rather go back to
the shape I was in 10 years ago
than hurt like this
from just being on my feet
for 3 hours<\/p>\n

I’d way rather be able to eat
vegetables…
I’d kill for green beans
and I’d likely sell body parts
for one single apple
but I know what both of those things would do to me
just like I know that
a bite er two of broccoli
will land me in the hospital<\/p>\n

so I’m not fat
cos I’m lazy
and I’m not fat
cos I wanna be
and I’m not fat
cos I don’t care<\/p>\n

I’m fat
cos I can’t eat what I want
or what’s good for me<\/p>\n

I’m fat
cos I sit and wait
for the pain to go away<\/p>\n

and that right there
is the truth of my existence.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

the wholewhat it’s liketo live with a debilitating disease(er two er three) thing that is take the fadder (please?) he’s in town for the weekendstayin at the cuz’s place we meet for breakyand we have a talk about my healthwhereby … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1894","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1894"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1894\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4091,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1894\/revisions\/4091"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}