{"id":1842,"date":"2009-07-26T13:52:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-26T20:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1842"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:25:06","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:25:06","slug":"theres-a-sucker-born-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1842","title":{"rendered":"there’s a sucker born"},"content":{"rendered":"

every minute…<\/span><\/p>\n

and I’ve never claimed to not be one<\/span><\/p>\n

on Friday…whilst driving home from work<\/span>
I spot these signs <\/span>
“Blueberries” with an arrow<\/span>
so I follow them<\/span>
and go on this merry drive <\/span>
over hill and dale<\/span>
through a farmer’s field<\/span>
till I get to the place <\/span>
that’s selling blueberries<\/span>
I’m not supposed to eat blueberries<\/span>
cos my personal version of Crohn’s<\/span>
doesn’t like anything raw and\/healthy<\/span>
but<\/span>
I’ve recently had a real taste for blueberries<\/span>
however they are hyper expensive <\/span>
ever since that Dr Oz guy <\/span>
went on Oprah and said<\/span>
that they are the absolutely best <\/span>
food one can eat <\/span>
due to the antioxidant nature <\/span>
of the berries<\/span><\/p>\n

I mean 4.99 for a half cup of berries<\/span>
at the grocers<\/span>
kinda sux eh?<\/span><\/p>\n

so anyway…<\/span>
I finally end up <\/span>
at this farm<\/span>
where they have a whole assembly line<\/span>
of pickers and a store<\/span>
and I bought 2 pints of blueberries<\/span><\/p>\n

(this is where the sucker part<\/span>
comes in)<\/span>
I paid $25.00<\/span>
for 2 pints<\/span><\/p>\n

they looked so good<\/span>
large and fat and luscious and juicy<\/span>
big dark blue berries…<\/span><\/p>\n

so I bought em<\/span>
and said “damn the torpedo’s” to myself<\/span><\/p>\n

I got them home<\/span>
excited to feast<\/span>
washed em up<\/span>
and once they were drained<\/span>
popped a handful <\/span>
into my mouth<\/span><\/p>\n

bliss?<\/span>
heaven?<\/span>
not so much<\/span><\/p>\n

sour!<\/span><\/p>\n

not a little sour<\/span>
the kind of sour <\/span>
that puckers up the whole bottom half<\/span>
of your face<\/span>
and squints yer eyes up<\/span>
the kind of sour that <\/span>
you feel at the back of your throat<\/span>
long after you’ve swallowed<\/span><\/p>\n

and – here I sit<\/span>
3 days later<\/span>
game fully trying to eat em<\/span>
cos <\/span>
after all<\/span>
I paid $25.00 for the damn things<\/span><\/p>\n

yup<\/span>
a sucker born every minute….<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

every minute… and I’ve never claimed to not be one on Friday…whilst driving home from workI spot these signs “Blueberries” with an arrowso I follow themand go on this merry drive over hill and dalethrough a farmer’s fieldtill I get … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1842"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1842\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4195,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1842\/revisions\/4195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}