{"id":1791,"date":"2009-03-24T20:26:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-25T03:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1791"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:25:28","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:25:28","slug":"fun-and-games-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1791","title":{"rendered":"Fun and Games"},"content":{"rendered":"

(if frank talk about body functions<\/span>
gross you out….don’t read any further!)<\/span><\/p>\n

the VOD<\/span>
she drives me nuts<\/span><\/p>\n

3 weeks ago while my blister was here<\/span>
she and the VOD went up to visit my fadder<\/span>
they consume a multitude of martinis<\/span>
and the VOD falls and hurts her back<\/span><\/p>\n

the blister and I fight with the VOD <\/span>
non stop for a week trying to get her to <\/span>
go to a dr<\/span>
the VOD will not go cos <\/span>
she’s afraid she’ll miss a part of <\/span>
the blister’s visit<\/span><\/p>\n

2 Sundays ago I drive the blister to the airport<\/span>
so she can go home<\/span>
and then have a huge fit with the VOD<\/span>
that results in me takin her to emerg<\/span>
and sitting for 10 odd hrs to find out<\/span>
that while nothing is broken<\/span>
she’s injured herself in a way that <\/span>
will require meds <\/span><\/p>\n

so fast forward to last Thursday<\/span>
on my way out for dinner with friends<\/span>
I says to myself…<\/span>
I ain’t feeling good<\/span>
I think I’m catching a cold<\/span>
after dinner I went home<\/span>
got into bed and only have <\/span>
made it to the couch during the day since<\/span><\/p>\n

till today.<\/span><\/p>\n

around 11 AM I go over to the VOD’s <\/span>
too see if I can borrow some coffee cream <\/span>
as I’m out<\/span><\/p>\n

the VOD is sitting on the couch<\/span>
I ask her when she last ate<\/span>
she says not for a couple of days<\/span>
I ask why not? (cos yer an 80 yr old diabetic<\/span>
with an apparent death wish)<\/span><\/p>\n

she says “cos there’s no room”<\/span>
huh?<\/span>
what?<\/span>
wtf does that mean?<\/span><\/p>\n

we argue for a while <\/span>
and eventually she tells me that she’s <\/span>
not had a bowel movement since she hurt her back<\/span><\/p>\n

3 fucking weeks ago!<\/span>
OMG<\/span>
I’d die<\/span><\/p>\n

so I get dressed <\/span>
and go to the pharmacy <\/span>
and talk to the pharmacist <\/span>
asking what I should give her<\/span>
thinking laxative or stool softener…<\/span><\/p>\n

he says I should take her to the hospital <\/span>
cos she could have a blockage <\/span>
(being 80 and diabetic and all) <\/span><\/p>\n

fuck eh?<\/span><\/p>\n

so I go home – <\/span>
have a big fight with her to get her to go to the hosp – <\/span>
end up having to call the bother <\/span>
and get him to call her <\/span>
and threaten to come down <\/span>
before she’ll go…<\/span><\/p>\n

we go to the hosp….<\/span>
where they triage her <\/span>
and we sit in the waiting room <\/span>
for a couple of hours waiting to see a dr<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they take us in to a room – <\/span>
another nurse takes her vitals <\/span>
and we wait again….<\/span>
for a couple more hours…<\/span><\/p>\n

and just about time <\/span>
she’s gonna see the dr <\/span>
she announces she has to pee…<\/span>
so I wheel her into the bathroom <\/span>
(cos her back’s too sore to walk) <\/span>
and she disappears…<\/span>
and comes out 10 min later <\/span>
grinning like a Cheshire cat <\/span>
cos she’s had a bowel movement!<\/span><\/p>\n

and she knew I wouldn’t believe her <\/span>
so she didn’t flush <\/span>
so I could have a god damn look!<\/span><\/p>\n

I swear to god she’s gonna make a drinker outta me.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(if frank talk about body functionsgross you out….don’t read any further!) the VODshe drives me nuts 3 weeks ago while my blister was hereshe and the VOD went up to visit my fadderthey consume a multitude of martinisand the VOD … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1791","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1791"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4297,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1791\/revisions\/4297"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}