{"id":1540,"date":"2007-12-29T11:04:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-29T19:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1540"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:27:37","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:27:37","slug":"it%e2%80%99s-the-time-of-year-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1540","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s the time of year"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s the time of year for reminiscing over the year past\u2026here we are on the 29th day of the last month of 2007 and I can\u2019t help but re-hash the past year and dream of the year coming\u2026..<\/strong><\/span>
A blogger that I know and read <\/a>recently posted \u201cWhen you look at the prospect of having more years behind you then in front, priorities change considerably.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
I like that premise\u2026.a lot\u2026I think it\u2019s true for me also\u2026<\/strong><\/span>
<\/strong><\/span>
So I find myself wondering at the changes I\u2019ve gone through over the past year\u2026and dreaming about the future yet again\u2026<\/strong><\/span>
<\/strong><\/span>
the new job<\/span> \u2013 turns out I do the job well\u2026(actually for the most part well with one hand tied behind my back) but while it\u2019s forever a better job than the one before\u2026I miss the \u201ccommunity\u201d at the last job\u2026I miss the people\u2026 and like the last job\u2026the one I have now doesn\u2019t exactly have room for advancement\u2026if you don\u2019t have a damn degree\u2026they won\u2019t let ya get ahead here\u2026. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Still\u2026at my age\u2026and remembering that I have no retirement put aside at all\u2026finishing out my working life dedicating myself to a job with a pension plan and a medical benefit plat is much \u201csafer\u201d way to live than I even have lived in the past\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

the club I left<\/span>\u2026.turns out that I spent 6 years of my life, dedicating myself to build camaraderie and friendships with people that for the most part could really not give a damn about me. That for 6 years I spent listening to and caring for their wants and needs and now my own are virtually non existent. For 6 years I worked incessantly at keeping interest up in the off season, for 6 years I worked at keeping people from acting like children in public, for 6 years I put myself in a position to have people I barely know call me \u201cmom\u201d only to discover that it must have been a fantasy\u2026cos not one of them has bothered to wish me best o the season\u2026.even tho I went onto their forum and wished them all the best….<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I know that my decision to leave the club was controversial\u2026and for me it wasn\u2019t easy (to say the least)\u2026but turns out it definitely separated the wheat from the chaff\u2026and now that I\u2019m getting to a point where I can be rational about the past doings of the people that precipitated my leaving, the people I left behind seem to have forgotten me. I guess in the long run I kinda asked for it didn\u2019t I? <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And in other news\u2026the other club that I had belonged to and gone back to as a guest imploded right at the same time\u2026which begs the question yet again\u2026what is it about us as human beings that makes us need to belong?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

the fambly<\/span>\u2026.the bother<\/span> is completely tied up in making amends to his children cos he swore his whole life he\u2019d never do to them what our parents did to us..get divorced. As a result\u2026while his kids are good, they are spoiled and he had a single mindedness about him that seemingly leaves no room for the rest of us\u2026although if you suggested that to him, he\u2019d be hurt and deny it vehemently\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

the fadder<\/span> and I have come to some kind of an \u201cunderstanding\u201d at the moment\u2026not un-normal for us when he\u2019s fallen out with the blister as he did last summer\u2026but also\u2026he\u2019s quite supportive of my position with the VOD and I\u2019m needful of all the support I can get just now\u2026\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

the blister<\/span>\u2026remains a piece of work\u2026she spends all her time whining about how hard done by she is\u2026she continues to live in the past\u2026(\u201cthe worst year of my life was the year my parents split up\u201d it was 26 years ago\u2026GET OVER IT!) she whines from cities all over the world that she\u2019s traveled to for her job\u2026I have to keep reminding myself that this is life as she chose it\u2026and in doing so have to keep reminding the VOD when she throws \u201cthe poor blister\u201d in my face\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

which brings me to the VOD<\/span>\u2026it\u2019s small wonder to me why the blister lives in the past\u2026cos the VOD has made a 30 year career outta it\u2026she\u2019s too close to the edge for me to be able to stand by and watch her fall\u2026but not close enough to the edge to qualify for a place in a home etc\u2026and she\u2019s a mean drunk the old doll\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

the cuz<\/span> <\/strong><\/span>and the cuz in law<\/span>\u2026She works at the same place I do\u2026but she makes at least twice a year what I do and he makes at least 3 times a year what I do\u2026so combined they don\u2019t have a realistic view of life from my perspective\u2026still\u2026I think we get along well\u2026and I know I have their love and support whenever I need it\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So what\u2019s in store for next year?
What am I looking forward to in 2008?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I want to continue to grow and develop the relationships that have come to mean so much to me\u2026the friends that have stuck with me through thick and thin and have become cherished members of my chosen family\u2026those that accept me and my foibles when the people I was born to can\u2019t, those that love me unconditionally and aren\u2019t afraid to tell me when I\u2019m an ass or outta line (well maybe they are afraid but tell me anyway LoL) <\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  2. I have learned so much from this tight knit group of friends and I have the greatest love and respect for each and every one of them\u2026I can only hope that continue to remain close no matter what our lives throw at us.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  3. I want to get the Pickle fixed and spend as much time riding as weather permits\u2026cos riding always cures what ails me\u2026for some unexplainable reason it clears my head and allows me to put all the extraneous crap in perspective\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  4. I\u2019m gonna contact a counselor again and spend some time working thru some of the \u201ckinks\u201d in my relationship\/care giving of the VOD\u2026<\/strong><\/span>I want to be doing it cos I want to\u2026not because I feel guilty\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  5. And I also want to get to a point where I don\u2019t have guilt associated with money\u2026(wouldn\u2019t that be grand?)<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  6. I\u2019m looking at actually purchasing a vehicle (with the assistance of the bank)\u2026which will help get me outta the gratitude flux with the VOD and be a large step in moving on with my life instead of waiting in god\u2019s waiting room in hers\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  7. I\u2019m gonna talk to the bank about qualifying for a mortgage. I need to move and the VOD needs to stand on her own two feet before it\u2019s too late\u2026.I live in mortal fear that she will fall (both literally and physically) and I\u2019ll be stuck here forever…..<\/strong><\/span>it\u2019s time\u2026ya know? <\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  8. I want to get the Dr\u2019s ok to start moving\u2026physically\u2026I think I\u2019ve had a long enough stretch with my systemic infection levels being low enough that I should be able to at least start moving\u2026it is my fervent wish that I start moving and it not cause a spike in my levels again so that I can feel better\u2026and it wouldn\u2019t suck to lose some poundage as well\u2026.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  9. I’m gonna continue to write\u2026.I don\u2019t know if writing will take a larger focus in my life or if I will just continue this blog in an effort to get all I have to say \u201cout there\u201d but I have finally come to realize that writing for me\u2026is like reading and riding\u2026.and breathing and eating\u2026a necessity.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Small orders or large?
    I\u2019m not really sure
    But I\u2019m proof positive that it doesn\u2019t hurt to dream\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It\u2019s the time of year for reminiscing over the year past\u2026here we are on the 29th day of the last month of 2007 and I can\u2019t help but re-hash the past year and dream of the year coming\u2026..A blogger that … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1540"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1540\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4799,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1540\/revisions\/4799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}