{"id":1323,"date":"2007-03-01T22:48:00","date_gmt":"2007-03-02T06:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1323"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:28:44","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:28:44","slug":"mercury-is-in-retrograde-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1323","title":{"rendered":"Mercury is in Retrograde!"},"content":{"rendered":"

My friend Tam<\/a> reminds me that <\/span>
mercury is retrograde…<\/span>
<\/span>
I slap myself on the forehead!<\/span>
how could I have forgotten?<\/span>
what was I thinking?<\/span>
<\/span>
mercury is tryin to kill me!<\/span><\/p>\n

so much trippy shit has gone on since the 14th <\/span>
(when the planet slipped into retrograde) <\/span>
that I’m at a loss as to where to start talking about it….<\/span>
<\/span>
but here’s one thing<\/span><\/p>\n

last night I got home from work at 6:35pm….<\/span>
tried my key on the building door and it doesn’t work…<\/span>
try my 2nd key and it don’t work….<\/span>
walk all the way round the building to the lobby <\/span>
and there’s a sign on the front door<\/span>
stating that the “manager”<\/span>
(and I use that term loosely) <\/span>
has changed the outside door locks <\/span>
and we can pick up our keys <\/span>
between 4 and 5 pm <\/span>
and that he’s going out of province <\/span>
for 2 weeks as of tomorrow morning <\/span>
<\/span>
did I mention it’s now like 6:45?<\/span><\/p>\n

….so I ring the buzzer to his apt…<\/span>
no answer…<\/span>
I ring again…<\/span>
no answer….<\/span>
now I’m layin on the damn buzzer<\/span>
beep diddy beep da beep beep beep!<\/span>
…no answer<\/span>
…so I walk around the building <\/span>
to his living room window <\/span>
and start hammering on it <\/span>
(guess I’m lucky he don’t own a gun – <\/span>
but shit this is my home!)<\/span>
…he finally comes to the door…<\/span>
and lets me in and hands me<\/span>
one key that is stamped “do not copy”<\/span><\/p>\n

so I tell him I want a 2nd key…<\/span>
he tells me I can’t have one…<\/span>
I tell him I’ve lived in the building 10 years <\/span>
and I want a 2nd key<\/span>
…he says “what for?”
I say…<\/span>
none of your fuckin business<\/span>
gimme a 2nd key..<\/span>
he says…”we don’t want every Tom Dick and Harry <\/span>
to have keys to the building”<\/span><\/p>\n

I say…<\/span>
then stop renting apartments <\/span>
to crackheads!<\/span>
he says he takes exception to that remark<\/span>
I say – before he was the manager <\/span>
we never had no Voodoo Gods in the building<\/span>
threatening to rain down his legion of terror <\/span>
and cut me into small pieces!<\/span>
I say before he became the manager <\/span>
we never had no apartment dwellers <\/span>
involved in a knife fight in the parking lot<\/span>
I say before he became the manager <\/span>
I never had not 1 <\/span>
not 2<\/span>
not even 3<\/span>
but 4 fucking showers in my living room<\/span>
I’ve lived here for 10 years and never had a problem <\/span>
and I want a 2nd key…<\/span><\/p>\n

OMG!<\/span>
Mercury is just fuckin with me!<\/span>
but I got my 2nd key!<\/span>
<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friend Tam reminds me that mercury is retrograde…I slap myself on the forehead!how could I have forgotten?what was I thinking?mercury is tryin to kill me! so much trippy shit has gone on since the 14th (when the planet slipped … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1323"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1323\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5233,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1323\/revisions\/5233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}