{"id":1264,"date":"2006-11-29T16:19:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-30T00:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1264"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:29:26","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:29:26","slug":"i-have-an-asshole-attractor-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1264","title":{"rendered":"I have an asshole attractor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">I have an asshole attractor<\/span><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">and I&#8217;d like to have it surgically removed <\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">please?<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">I just got sent home from work\u2026Cos I arrived at work this morning and immediately did a half gainer and banged up my knee pretty bad (seems that my father is destined to bang up his feet and I am destined to bang up my knees)<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">Soo \u2013 I drove home in the snow \u2013 it\u2019s snowing again (although they are calling for rain later) it\u2019s that light dusty snow that you get when it\u2019s cold \u2013 but there\u2019s enough of it that it is covering all that skating rink from the last 2 days \u2013 which is how I banged up my knee \u2013 but that\u2019s another story!<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">People get stupid in inclement weather\u2026it\u2019s like it gets cold and their brains freeze er something\u2026.I just spent 15 minutes waiting to get in my driveway cos some boob had parked his car in the driveway and went across the street to the school \u2013 and when he comes out of the school he\u2019s like all farklempt cos he\u2019s in the way\u2026and barely able to speak in syllables&#8230;.he\u2019s obviously a couple of French fries short a Happy Meal\u2026<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><span style=\"color:#66ffff;\">\u201dduh oh?\u2026.am I in the way?\u201d<\/span><br \/>\u201cwell ya \u2013 <strong>COS YER PARKED IN MY DRIVEWAY<\/strong>!\u201d<br \/><span style=\"color:#66ffff;\">\u201cOh \u2013 well how wuz I supposed to know? \u2013 that it\u2019s a driveway I mean?\u201d<\/span><br \/>\u201cwell I suppose those 4 big honking signs that say \u201dBrentwood Villa Driveway No Parking Allowed\u201d might have been a dead giveaway!\u201d<br \/><span style=\"color:#66ffff;\">\u201cwell I didn\u2019t want to park at the school cos there\u2019s snow there\u201d<\/span><br \/>\u201cwell there\u2019s snow here and I\u2019ve been holding up traffic for 15 minutes while I <strong>try to get in my driveway<\/strong>\u201d<br \/><span style=\"color:#66ffff;\">\u201cwell fine \u2013but I still don\u2019t know why yer upset\u201d<br \/><\/span>Gak!!! \u201cI\u2019ve got an idea \u2013 why don\u2019t I go park up against yer front door so you can\u2019t go home and we\u2019ll see how you like it?\u201d<br \/><span style=\"color:#66ffff;\">\u201cbitch\u201d<\/span><br \/>*sigh*\u2026.\u201djust get outta my driveway\u201d<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\"><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size:130%;\">Don\u2019tcha just love snow? cos there&#8217;s surely no cure for stupid!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have an asshole attractorand I&#8217;d like to have it surgically removed please?I just got sent home from work\u2026Cos I arrived at work this morning and immediately did a half gainer and banged up my knee pretty bad (seems that &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1264\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1264"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5351,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264\/revisions\/5351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}