{"id":1206,"date":"2006-08-24T07:47:00","date_gmt":"2006-08-24T14:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1206"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:29:41","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:29:41","slug":"the-voodoo-god-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1206","title":{"rendered":"the Voodoo God"},"content":{"rendered":"

many of you will remember the story
about my lovely neighbour the “Voodoo God”
and his erstwhile partner “Lemon Sucker”<\/p>\n

I had a run in with them at the beginning of the summer
of gargantuan proportions
and as a result had to file a police report
etc etc etc<\/p>\n

so all over the village I’ve heard reports all summer
about this guy who’s named himself “the Prince of Jamaica”
turns out it’s the Voodoo God
and he’s a 9 alarm piss tank
qu’elle suprise?<\/p>\n

(he told me to my face that he was a Voodoo God and that he was gonna show up with his “Legion of Terror and rain down harm and pestilence upon me and cut me into little cancerous pieces!”)<\/p>\n

the Lemon Sucker works at the grocery store next door to our building
and refuses to serve me when I go to the grocery store…
I can imagine how a man would have to drink to live with a sour old boot like that
but I digress<\/p>\n

I have
several times
run in to them
alternately
never together
in the hallways and walkways
of our building<\/p>\n

she always glares and puckers up like she’s about to say something
but never does…<\/p>\n

he never looks me in the eye…<\/p>\n

I remain curtly civil (above and beyond the call if ya ask me)<\/p>\n

So Sunday mornin I’m out in the parking lot
going to meet my riding club
and here comes the VooDoo God
takin his garbage out<\/p>\n

and as he’s returning from the dumpster
he says to me:
“look ….I mighta said some nasty shit”
“ya think?” says I
“well I’m Jamaican and we’re hot blooded”
(hmmmmm me thinks I ain’t even going there)<\/p>\n

so I guess that was an apology?
whaddaythink?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

many of you will remember the storyabout my lovely neighbour the “Voodoo God”and his erstwhile partner “Lemon Sucker” I had a run in with them at the beginning of the summerof gargantuan proportionsand as a result had to file a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1206"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5467,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206\/revisions\/5467"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}