{"id":1100,"date":"2005-10-27T19:34:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-28T02:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beltdrivebetty.com\/wyzwmnsworld\/?p=1100"},"modified":"2010-09-29T18:30:52","modified_gmt":"2010-09-30T01:30:52","slug":"people-puzzle-me-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/?p=1100","title":{"rendered":"People Puzzle Me…"},"content":{"rendered":"

yup <\/span>
they do…I have here a compilation of some of the things that currently puzzle me…<\/span>
~~~~~~<\/span>
so I may have mentioned that my brother and his wife have split up<\/span>
he’s like selling the farm to get shet of her<\/span>
and she’s sucking him dry<\/span>
literally<\/span>
<\/span>
so today – she phones and says she wants all their airmiles points<\/span>
cos she’s gonna go to India on holidays with her new beau<\/span> of 15 minutes
and cos she’s gonna treat one of her friends to a trip to Oprah<\/span>
(go figure)<\/span>
<\/span>
he says…no…you can’t have all of them <\/span>
cos you didn’t earn all of them<\/span>
and I’ve already given you the house<\/span>
the business<\/span>
and my left testicle<\/span>
<\/span>
so I think I’ll just keep some of the airmiles points<\/span>
she freaks and calls him all kinds of names<\/span>
then she hangs up<\/span>
and her boyfriend calls back<\/span>
to tell him that he’s (my brother) being mean to her <\/span>
and he shouldn’t<\/span>
<\/span>
my brother – ever the nice guy <\/span>
says “have a nice day” and hangs up<\/span>
<\/span>
me…I’d have said<\/span>
“get yer loppy arse outta the bed I paid for and see ya in court!”<\/span>
~~~~~~~~~~<\/span>
next puzzle:<\/span>
where I work<\/span>
we have all these people that are really really good at their job<\/span>
and all these people that are…not so much<\/span>
so one of the really good people wants to make puppies for a day<\/span>
(as in fuckin the dog)<\/span>
my boss says “no”<\/span>
so I say “no”<\/span>
so she says “fine then I quit”<\/span>
so I say “I don’t take blackmail lightly – see ya! bye!”<\/span>
and the boss says<\/span>
“ok – fuck the dog for a day”<\/span>
and she’s still employed<\/span>
so I talk to him about it<\/span>
and in the long run we argee that we have to take blackmail lightly<\/span>
cos in our position right now<\/span>
she’s got us both by the speckled bluies
~~~~~~~~~<\/span>
next puzzle:<\/span>
my mom is scared of Dr’s<\/span>
and as a result hasn’t gone to one regularly for about 30 or more years<\/span>
so last Monday she mentions that she has had this “episode”<\/span>
where her eye “went black” for an hour or so<\/span>
<\/span>
so I suggest she should have that looked at by a Dr<\/span>
and she figures she don’t need a GP <\/span>
<\/span>
so she goes to the optometrist<\/span>
???<\/span>
he (cos he’s a smart man) <\/span>
tells her that she needs to have a bunch of tests run<\/span>
and she says “well ok”<\/span>
so he says “who’s your GP?”<\/span>
she says “aint’ got one”<\/span>
so he says “isn’t that funny…<\/span>
I have a friend that ‘s just opened up a practice around the corner”<\/span>
and walks her out the door and around the corner <\/span>
to the GP’s office…<\/span>
<\/span>
so she has an appointment<\/span>
and I think we’re makin progress here<\/span>
and she goes for the first visit<\/span>
and comes back pissed <\/span>
cos the Dr put her on BP med’s <\/span>
and ordered about a bajillion tests<\/span>
she feels <\/span>
she’s succumbing to the influence <\/span>
of the demon pharmaceutical companies<\/span>
<\/span>
I’m like…<\/span>
“whatever!”<\/span>
~~~~~~~~~~~<\/span>
next puzzle:<\/span>
here I am <\/span>
a smart cookie<\/span>
why am I still workin at a place <\/span>
were I now feel <\/span>
completely overwhelmed by the workload?<\/span>
is it cos it’s easy?<\/span>
is it cos it’s safe?<\/span>
is it cos I am resistant to change?<\/span>
is it cos I am so insecure that I believe I can’t get anything better?<\/span>
is it cos I’m lazy?<\/span>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/span>
next puzzle:<\/span>
how did I let myself get roped into <\/span>
being in the wedding party<\/span>
nobody said nutting about carrying flowers<\/span>
and walking in a freakin procession<\/span>
ain’t it enough that I’m dressing like a god damn girl?<\/span>
<\/span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
last puzzle for the day:<\/span>
look at the size of one square of toilet tissue<\/span>
now<\/span>
look at the size of one kleenex tissue<\/span>
think of what those 2 different tissues clean<\/span>
and tell me that ain’t a fucking puzzle to you too!<\/span>
<\/span>
G’night Dick~<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

yup they do…I have here a compilation of some of the things that currently puzzle me…~~~~~~so I may have mentioned that my brother and his wife have split uphe’s like selling the farm to get shet of herand she’s sucking … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1100"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5679,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1100\/revisions\/5679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wyzwmn9444.live-website.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}