WyzWmn's World©

I cain’t do nuttin right…

so ya’ll know that I blew up my puter about 6 weeks ago
and now I’m waitin for the “macdaddy” Dell that I ordered to be delivered
I am so stoked about having a computer again…I just can’t wait…

but then – life takes hold and I find that once again – I just cain’t do nuttin right…

when I confirmed my order with the Dell employee that called me from a call center in another country…I informed him that I didn’t want him to deliver it to my apartment
I wanted it delivered to the VOD’s (Voice of Doom aka…my mother) apartment next door….the confirmation guy in a call center in another country told me in something that loosely resembled English that I would have to contact the courier for that

so

Dell ships via Purolator
and Purolator in my city is open from 9-6 M-F
and I work from 9-5 M-F
and I live at least a half hour away from Purolator

so

I call Purolator and am informed that it is “physically impossible” for them to ship the boxes next door…that the act of delivering to apt 111 as opposed to apt 109 would cause major issues and bring upon and or pending the beginning of the end of the world…er somthin~

so

I call Dell…and I am informed that the order has shipped so the only way to change the delivery address is to have it returned and then re-ship or they can fill out forms and that will take 7 days and by that time it will be too late cos the order has shipped already – and frankly anyone can sign for it so maybe you can get the person at 111 to sit in 109 for the next week or so on the off chance that Purolator will show up with a delivery…

ya know?

they are sucking all the fun outta this for me…I’m now of the opinion that I should be telling em to take that new puter…and fold it up in a really small ball….AND RAM IT UP THEIR COOLOO!

if ya get my drift?

One of the ladies that I am e-quainted with has written some etiquette notes that I have edited a bit before placing here (I put the cuss words back in – and hey! It’s my blog!!)
I’ve added my own stuff at the end…

From HighPriestess:
I am not perfect. (I know, I know, it’s a shock) However, it has become more and more apparent these days that many people have no home trainin’. So, in the interest of my sanity, I would like to go over some rules of etiquette. Let’s start with the basics:

Personal Space: Don’t invade mine. I won’t invade yours. Hugs are great at the right time and place. Your hand on my ass without permission isn’t. Some of you have a free pass to have your hand on my ass anytime – you know who you are . If you are not sure, it’s not you.

My House: Don’t show up unannounced. It’s rude. If you are in the neighborhood and want to stop by, call first. Give me a chance to lie and say I am not home if I don’t want company or if I am busy. Of course, emergencies happen and if you need a place to crash my door is always open. Just don’t abuse the privilege.

My Computer: If I let you in my house, I probably don’t mind you using my computer. However, it’s best to ask first, especially if I am not using it. For God’s sake, don’t download a bunch of shit or change all my settings. I really don’t care how you like it.My Vehicle: Sure you can ride with me. No, you can’t play with the fucking radio or A/C. Hot or Cold? Let me know, I’ll adjust it. Don’t like the music? Suck it up. If you just can’t stand the song, ask if you can turn it down so we can ‘talk’.

My Motorcycle: If it’s Ok for you to ride it, I’ll offer. Don’t ask. End of story.

My food: No you cannot taste it. Don’t ask. If I think it’s that good, I’ll offer you a bite. And I would not suggest you reach for anything on my plate. (Unless you like the look of a knife through your hand) Same goes for my drink. As for dessert, never take bites without asking.

In Public:

Elevators: OK, this is a major pet peeve of mine. First, don’t block the fucking up and down buttons. Push yours and get out of my way. Second, don’t rush the door when it opens or you might get punched in the neck. Trampling me on my way out will not get you to your floor any faster, unless you are going down in which case I will gladly show you the stairs.

On the road: The merge lane is a gazillion feet long for a fucking reason, people. Don’t stop and wait for a place unless you have run out of room. And if you are already on the highway and approach an on ramp, get your ass outta the way if you can. I have just as much right to get on as you do. In the store: It’s really not a place to catch up with old friends. Especially if you are standing in front of the cereal and I need to get some. Go chat over a nice triple-soy-mocha-latte at Starbucks.

Miscellaneous Stuff:

Trips: This one applies to bikers especially, but really to everyone. I know we ride alot with friends, and make little trips and stuff. However, if you find out I have a trip planned with another person, don’t invite yourself along (especially if it is a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend). If I want you along, I will ask you. It may have nothing to do with you. Or it may have everything to do with you. It doesn’t really matter, there’s a reason you weren’t invited. And, if you have planned a trip with me, don’t invite others along without asking me first. You may like them, but I may not. I respect your right to spend time with anyone you choose. When you spend time with me, respect my right to do the same. This is especially important to the bikers because I may feel uncomfortable with your friends riding skills. Give me the opportunity to say no before you drag someone else along and make me miserable. If they really make me uncomfortable for one reason or another, I respect you enough that I will bow out gracefully.

My Personal Life: You know who you are to me, and you know who you aren’t. If I don’t share details of my personal life with you, don’t put me on the spot. If you don’t already know, I probably am not ready/willing to share. If you wish to become my confidante, give it time. But don’t be nosey.

added by another e- friend – Bloody Wrench

CONVENIENCE STORE CLERKS: get off the f’n phone!! at least put it down while you’re waiting on me, I don’t care if you talk to me or not, I’m not there to make a new friend, but show me the courtesy of giving a shit whether or not I spend my money in your store… ie: save the details of last night’s tryst til after I’m away from the counter!!

ANY CLERK: save the old home talk with your buddy leaning against the register until I get done conducting my business. I don’t give a flying flip how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other, I want to pay for my items and get the double hockey sticks out of the store. At least have the courtesy to pause your conversation until I’m gone.

BUDDY LEANING AGAINST THE REGISTERS: step out of my way!!!! Don’t make me move you, and don’t think I won’t…..

Added by DJFreeRider:

The work place: Don’t whine about your job, your pay, your boss, or your company……..Just do the job you agreed to do! If you don’t like the job, you have a choice…quit! If you don’t like your pay do something about it, like work harder to get a raise, or…..Quit! If you don’t like the boss…..SO! Don’t go drinking with them……or quit! Remember you have a choice and you make one everyday…….If you choose to go to work, then do the friggin job and stop whining…….or QUIT!

added by WildChild:
Highway Driving: Don’t drive 20 MPH down a road in front of me because you can’t talk on a cell phone and drive at the same time. Most people can multi task!

My Personal Pet Peeves:

Taking Advantage: Don’t assume cos I ride a trike and am single that my back seat is open season for your kids, aunts, grannies, flaky friends or spare men…nor should I be expected to haul your tent, sleeping bag, chairs, coolers, food or booze…if I wanted a passenger I’d have a partner….and if I wanted to carry all yer crap I’d drive a truck!
Don’t even ask!

Reaching out: I have a 9 to 9…it’s loosely based on the concept that I am not coherent or pretty or remotely polite before 9 AM and after 9 PM….so if ya show up at my door after 9 PM and ya ain’t bleeding….you will be when ya leave!