WyzWmn's World©

it literally made me howl….

Dear Kotex:

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of “Kotex Tips for Life” on it. Annoying advice such as:

Ø Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Ø Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Ø Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Ø Try Kotex blah blah blah other products…

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell…but go ahead…I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya… See what happens and report back. I’ll wait.
While you’re at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps…well guess what, the only activities that interests me is eating, sleeping, bitching or crying for no apparent reason…and oh…does ripping someone’s head off count as a friggen’ activity?????

Look, females don’t need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing “helpful” crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. It’s not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don’t ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that…helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass.

PS How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead!!!

here’s another thing – you may think I’m nuts
but here goes

today is Sept 5
on Sept 7 we have a full moon

during the period around the full moon
people have a tendency to get the “full moon crazies”
hence the term “baying at the moon”

people working in hospitals and bars batten down the hatches around the full moon
and it’s been proven that their work loads increase significantly
people who are normally happy and able to deal with stress, drink too much, don’t sleep, don’t eat or over eat and get basically kinda frantic

it is my belief as a Wiccan that we women have a closer connection to the moon than most people recognize
more women in the world will get their menses this week
more women will be emotional this week
and if there is gonna be a tidal type mother nature issue in the world it always happens around the full moon
PMS suffers commit crimes around the full moon – there is a direct correlation between women finally getting away in one form or another from abusive spouse during the full moon
and people with “bad nerves” come unglued around the full moon

if you don’t want to take tranquillizers or sleep meds – how about going to the health food store and buying some St John’s Wort and melatonin

Melatonin will assist your sleeping and St John’s Wort works really well for anxiety – you just can’t take it if you are on heart or blood pressure meds and they are all natural!

ok – the witch in me will shut up now

talk amoungst yerselves