WyzWmn's World©

well then…it’s over

a chapter of my life that has completely consumed the last 3 years

by 10 AM yesterday I just wanted to beat feet out the door
again with the tears…

I cried on and off all day
people came by and said the most amazing things to me
about me
I am bereft…

I received more cards, and kudos
more heartfelt congratulations and thanks
and more chocolate (these people know me soo well!)

members of my team came in on their day off to say goodbye
and
one lady even came by on her day off
just to drop off some cookies that she’d baked just for me

by 10 I just wanted it to be over
I was completely overwhelmed
and sooo out of my element
I wanted to hide in the bathroom

but I realized that there just comes a time when you have to stop joking
and accept what people are saying about you
to you
with grace
(I can hear my mother’s voice speaking to the time my Dad’s mother counseled her to “just say thankyou gracefully”)

around 3 a fellow stopped by my desk
works in another department
we’ve been acquainted for a little over a year
we’ve joked on occasion

he stood at my desk
his hand over his mouth
visibly shaken
for minutes

he pulled his hand away from his face
and said…with tears in his eyes…
“I am a better person for having known you…thank you”

he shook my hand
and walked away.

as he walked away
I sat staring at his back
my mouth hanging open
the tears began again
as I began to think
about impact…

began to think about how we can impact people’s lives profoundly
and never really know that we have
and about how very few people
have the privileged of finding out
how they’ve contributed to or impacted
other’s lives
and what an amazing blessing it was
to have been allowed this time
and to have the ability
to end this chapter with grace

at the end of the day
everyone hugged me goodbye
and many of us cried again

I walked out the door
barely hanging on
and as I climbed into my car
I had one brief moment
of hysteria…

“this is wrong…go back
go back…you can fix this
you can stay”

I wiped my face
blew my nose
and started the car

there were more kudos when I got home…

and a lovely blog post from my sister wise Bee…

but it’s done…
and so begins the next chapter

When I announced a week ago that I was leaving I almost ended up with a batch resignations on my desk – the team wanted to leave – but I pulled them off the phones and into a meeting room and coached them not to burn bridges or make decisions around what’s going on in my life – that their decisions need to be based on their lives…mouths to feed, mortgages to pay etc…

Yesterday I had a party during my last team meeting to talk to them and to give them little gifts to remember me by – our team is called the Devil Ducks after a little rubber devil bathtub duck and it has been for 2 years ….so I presented each of them with a devil duck and had printed a little card and tied it with a ribbon around the duck’s necks – the cards read “you will always be a Duck – you just have to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you — Believe!”

Lots of us cried – and they’d also got me some presents and a big cake that was decorated with all my sayings…..and a couple of the cards with the nicest send off messages….

Then the door opens and every Team Lead and Sup and Ops Manager in the barn came filing in and they sang “for she’s a jolly good fellow” and the Sup from hell made a speech about how he’s learned something about keeping the humanity in management from me and that I have definitely made an ongoing impact at the Corp – and that I dragged them all kicking and screaming into managing with compassion and real feelings and that I will truly be missed – and made me cry all over again – I told them that they’d finally found a way to shut me up!

Today will be my last day – and a little easier in some ways and a lot harder in others…I will miss my team desperately – but they are friends now and I like to think that they will stay in touch….I’ve been able to secure a good new TL for them – a fellow that was originally from my team and has been temping for a yr made TL so I do my handover today – finish clearing out my desk and then it’s on to the new life!

Kinda chrysalis like

I start Tuesday and I am sooo stoked!