WyzWmn's World©

so
when I first moved to BC in April of 98
I was sick as a dog
my Crohn’s disease had caused me
to lose a very lucrative contract
with a multi national
and I had been robbed
by a man I thought I loved

so
I had to declare bankruptcy
I couldn’t work
and I became the blob
that ate my mother’s couch
for many months

I tried to get work
but I was too sick
physically
and
emotionally

it’s not enough that depression
runs in my family
but that a side effect of Crohn’s
is depression as well

not having a job
having allowed myself to be
in the position
to have been hurt by a man
who turned out to be a liar and a thief
losing my house
my Nissan Pathfinder
etc etc
it all took it’s toll

so
over time I was able
to begin to get better
part of that was luck of the draw
like landing in the hospital
in my small community
putting me in touch with a Dr
that has since virtually
saved my life

over the years
there has been a slow upward crawl
of financial, emotional and physical health
and in 2008 I was able
to lease a car
which I flipped in 2012
and then again in 2016

a little red car
looked like a ladybug
I was so proud of myself
for having got the the stage
that I was advancing
to actually being an adult

In June of 2015 I found myself
sick again
this time
it was health, poor decisions,
grief over my father’s death
And an inability to admit
I was in the wrong job

things unraveled
and I found myself on medical leave
originally with the intent to
go back to work in late Aug

in July 2015 I broke my shoulder
while on holidays with my tribe
so an orthopedic surgeon decided
no work until October

In October,
when I got my medical release
from the surgeon
I was informed by my employer
that I was in fact not going back to work
and that because of my complicated
health issues
I should apply for long term disability

I applied
and was refused
so in Aug of 2016 my GP
also wrote a return to work note
for my employer

I ran out of short term sick leave
and accommodation leave
in Feb of 2015
I’ve had no income since then

I did not return to work at that time
and slowly have been repleting my
retirement savings
until they ran out in Sept 2016

it isn’t pretty
but the good news is that
my employer has now found me a position
that will start
April 3.

I was able to
with the help of a team of medical professionals
get myself to a point
where I feel better
physically and for the most part
Emotionallty than I have
in many many years…

that’s the good news

over the course of this mess
I’ve been in contact with the company
that sold me the little red car
as recently as last Thursday
to request payments since Nov
be deferred to the end of my contract
and was told it was ok

Friday morning
the car company issued a warrant
for repo of the little red car
I spoke to the bailiff
last night…
who has kindly allowed me until Monday (tomorrow)
to clean out the car
of my stuff…
and get the last run
of my meds and groceries
prior to him taking
the car back

I truly have mixed emotions
being in this position financially
has made me very sad and lost
to a great deal
over the last few months
and I’ve had a hard time not succumbing
to a great depression
and
my gratitude sometimes runs thin

but I know that these things
that have happened
are my responsibility
and although it will beat the hell
out of my pride…

I’m alive
and pretty much well
so I’ll move on.

…and damn the torpedoes.

anybody want to buy me some chocolate? LoL

Life has a way of being funny…. and funny is not always of the ha ha persuasion

I did some walking on Wednesday for an appointment… there wasn’t any parking close to where I needed to be so I parked and walked a slight uphill grade to get to where the first appointment was and then walked briskly to the next appointment… yesterday I thought well that’s cool no discomfort as a result of the walking uphill or doing a flight of stairs… this morning my hips and knees are screaming bloody murder…. this only stands to get better as I spend more time out of the house

Over the length of my life I have probably owned 1000 binders….three ring, six ring, eight ring, big, fat, small, skinny….. tons of binders in every colour under the sun….so I’m working on a project that requires one…do you suppose I can find one? No…I’ll have to go buy one…apparently they were part of my last effort to sort and downsize my den. And sorting and downsizing my den only led to other rooms in the house being further cluttererd…sigh

Apparently I truly am my mother’s daughter…although the things I seem to collect seem relevant at the time…just how relevant can they be while I am continually having to make lists of things to pick up while out?

I have to clean out my bathroom as it’s getting refurbished next week (at least I hope it will be next week)..I’m getting new facets, and toilet and flooring. I need boxes to fill…didn’t I just put about 15 boxes out for recycle last night?

And once said boxes are full of bathroom junk…where the hell will I store them? While it’s only likely for three or four days it’s going to be hell trying to find someplace in my wee house to store them – given that I have the granddaddy of all Vilas coffee tables in the living room – and a wall unit that while not very wide, still removes about 8 inches from the breadth of my living room. A canopy bed in the bedroom that I adore – but takes up most of the floor space in there as well as a huge lazy boy in the den – that was my dad’s – so it ain’t going anywhere…

Also, I have craft supplies up the wazoo…do you think I can find a plain black ink fine tip pen? Not likely…

I’ve got a Vilas Maple love seat and chair in my den that I want to get rid of…I only kept them because my mom always said they were the only furniture in the world that she cold
sit in and have her feet touch the floor…currently they seem to have accumulated the in-between clothes…you know? the clothing that is too clean to put in the wash but not clean enough for the clean closet? What the hell do you do with them? Put them back in the closet and hope for the best? I guess once I get it cleaned off I can list them in Used Victoria or Varage Sale or even eBay…although I can’t see myself trying to ship them…that would be a gong show I don’t need…I can’t imagine anyone else wanting them – but I can’t make myself throw them out – they are Vilas!

Over the time I’ve been off work (19 months sounds so much longer to me than a year and a half) my home has gotten so much more lived in looking than it ever did before….hence the de-cluttering…. however what seems to be happening is that an effort to de-clutter I’ve actually created more clutter….

So I’m reading David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” in hopes that it will give me some sort of amazing understanding of how to do all these things without it driving me crazy with the irony that is my life.

Which is the book I was trying to load on my iPad the other day and ended up having to put on my Kobo because my iPad my iPhone and iTunes refuse to talk nicely to each other so I still can’t put music on my phone…which of course makes me wonder if it’s my refurbished PC tower that’s causing the issues because I know it’s also having issues with the sound-card at the moment.

Which also suggests a puzzle around the fact that I removed the signature from both my email addresses however it still shows up when I email from my iPhone or my iPad?

All of this truly makes me wonder if I should be tested for ADHD…how does one get tested as an adult? I’m making lists of things I should do – so far the list making has become a full time job…and because they are so extensive, and while I can’t get them out of my head – I’m not getting what I should be doing done – cos the list making is all encompassing…again – hence the reading of the David Allen book

and this is all before coffee this morning….sheesh! I’m sure that there’s more that I will remember as soon as I post this to my blog – but that’s the nature of my beast these days…See? Funny…but not necessarily hahaha funny…

…more coffee please!