WyzWmn's World©

there’s some strange goin’s on
goin on around me at the moment

I have mixed feelings

first
I saw the heart specialist
he said my heart was in “surprisingly good shape
considering what it’s been through”
the chest pains are chest wall spasms
and while painful
ya can’t die from em

good to know….
I get an H1N1 shot tomorrow
and I see a Urologist on the 12th
and then I should be all topped up
for the next year er so
Dr. wise….
*sigh*

second...the VOD is moving
after 10 years of being in my very pocket
by the end of the month
she will be firmly ensconced
in an apartment in an independent living complex
5 minutes from me
a complex that goes
from indepenent to assited living
when needs be….

talk about mixed emotions!
I’m trying not to be giddy
and to not say what I need to say
to the bother
before he gets her moved
cos once I’m done with him
I’m pretty sure
he won’t be around for a while
nor talking to me 🙂
and one more crack about how he’s had to
come all the way here to “fix” everything
I’ve not done in the last 9 years
may just get him a shot in the head
~I’m just sayin….

and then there’s the fadder
who’s been bemoaning for a couple of years
that he wants a dog
finds an Airedale Terrier (his fav breed) rescue
goes all the way to the point of having them
come to inspect his home

and then decides he better not

?

other than that
things are surprisingly calm
in the rest of my life right now
(well…calm for me that is)

and I kinda find that strange too
I guess I’ve been living in a state of
high stress and anxiety for so long
I miss it when it’s gone

here’s hopin it’s gone for a long time!

and look over at the clock
7:00
is it AM or PM?

it’s dark
has been for 2 days

it’s dark when I go to sleep
it’s dark when I wake up
it’s dark when my eyes are closed
and it’s dark when I open them

it’s warm
and comfy
cocooned
nested

there’s something oddly
womb like about spending
a couple of days in bed
when my eyes go south

the very fact that I can think this
makes me understand
that I must be on the
uphill climb to
normalcy again
or whatever it is that I call normal
health wise

2 days of feeling like I have glass in my eye
compounded by the running of the nose
my conviction that this fluid coming from my eyes
must be blood
the sinuses impacting
and the resultant headache

no light
no tv
no book
no computer
I can’t bear the light
for more than seconds at a time
so it’s dark

2 days feels like forever
and eventually starts to feel
like
always

they must be getting better
cos I’m not mad at them anymore
and I’m awake